Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Randomize