Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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