I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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