gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Randomize
