how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
