id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
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