you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
