apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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