I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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