Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Randomize
