need another drink. this is the easiest way
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize
