idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Randomize
