You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
