Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
