what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Randomize