Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
