I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize