I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
whose parrot is this?
Maybe he injected his testicle?
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
