Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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