That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Just puked most of my soul out..
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