Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
