discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize