I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
