If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
