Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Randomize