We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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