well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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