Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
bring money and cleavage
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Randomize
