So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
