Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize