I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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