Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Randomize
