The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Randomize
