They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
