Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
