last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
