you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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