Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
