Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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