Are we in a gay sports bar?
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Randomize
