I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
