White coat. Heels.
Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
