The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
My vagina just clenched in fear
Randomize
