The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
my sisters under your porch take her home
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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