I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
