O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
