just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
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