She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Randomize