Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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