Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
