Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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