Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Cover your peen. We're going out.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Randomize
