Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
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