The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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