Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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