Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
