This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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