we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
