I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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