the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Randomize
