problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Randomize
