she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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