Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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