Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
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