You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Randomize
