Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize