how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Randomize
