There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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