Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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