Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
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