she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
