Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Randomize
